The Incredible Lightness of Hormoneless Being

(Sometimes, you read another blog and it kind of gets you going, and you just have to say more. So it was that when I happened on CracTpot’s excellent ‘T is for Testosterone’ (cractpot.wordpress.com) I somehow needed to to get going with this little comment..)

No, I don’t have periods any more. No, I can’t have children any more. No, I don’t feel like a worthless sexless pointless hag. Perhaps I look like one but no, I don’t think so. No, I don’t mourn the monthly torment of being manipulated into someone I never knew by the evil master puppeteer Hormone. And yes it makes me want to eat my own haglike head when I see others fear and dread that time when the Oestrogen strings are finally cut, and they will be allowed to be themselves again. Thank you popular culture. I believe you are a man

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Ha! Fear not sisters. The truth awaits – it goes a bit like this…

Indecision – the glorious state of intellectual rediscovery when one is allowed to consider things in depth without someone screaming about the Gruffalo in the wardrobe.

 

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Lifeless hair/eyes – mostly occurs after being kept awake by a snorting, shape shifting bristling ( possibly loveable) fart of increasing encroachment sharing same bed-space for more moons than you ever thought possible.

Forgetful – well there’s been a lot of stuff offloaded into the wondrous hard-drive that is your head over the last quarter century, much of it by others. Your Storage is Almost Full. You can Manage your Storage in “Settings”. Personally I like the setting that involves infinite white sands, crashing seas and being served Kir Royal, preferably by exotic youths.

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Lack of energy – oops sorry I must have gone fora cycle/run/ mega tasting session in the gin bar & forgot I did it

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Hot flushes – Rosy cheeks. What happens when you can go for a walk. A long one. With a hip flask in your rucksack, not a shedload of tampons.

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Irritable – No dear. It’s not because of the hormones. I don’t have any. Now please piss off, I need to eat some cheese and howl at the moon.971780_10200687344859526_519085400_n

Weight gain – Nature’s cushion. I ran around the last 30 years and now Nature says I need something to sit comfy to sit on.

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Oh yes indeedy.

It’s a tough journey, but hang on in there.

Onwards and upwards ladies.

 

 

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